RSS Feed
Twitter
I’m 24&in Grad school. For the past few months I have been looking for a car because I am about to start working with a company and need reliable transportation to get there. I haven’t had a vehicle up until now because it’s just an extra expense I didn’t need. My dad found out from my mom (they are divorced), that I was looking for a car. He knows that because of school, I only work part time. So, he offered to GIVE me a car he bought that he doesn’t drive because he has two vehicles. The car is fairly new and very nice! He says he will continue to pay the notes on it and the only thing I will be responsible for is the insurance. He really wants to help me out and I accepted. I am VERY thankful for this& see it as a major blessing. HOWEVER, a small part of me also feels bad because he has to give up his car for me. I also feel bad because at 24, my parents are still having to foot my bills. I pay all my credit card bills, phone bills, etc. But that’s nothing compared to a car note.
I am so very thankful and appreciative of this blessing because it was totally unexpected, but at the same time, I am beginning to feel like a burden on my parents. Parents would you have done this for your children? At what point do you expect your child to stop depending on you so much, and when does it become a burden? I am happy and I also know my dad wants to see me succeed, but I also feel so guilty because I know most people my age have careers and stuff….what point do you expect your children to stop relying on you so much?
Thank you all for the wonderful input! I guess it’s hard for me to look at it from a parental perspective because i’m not a parent. I don’t know who is giving all the thumbs down, but I think the answers are wonderful and I appreciate it!
September 12th, 2011
PARENTS:Would you have done this for your child if they were this age?Would you have seen them as freeloaders?
Posted in cheap car insurance
Think of it as parental insurance – by giving you a car he doesn’t really need, he is allowing you to start work at a company that presumably will pay you well. If he doesn’t give you the car, he faces the possibility of continuing to support you in other ways.
As a parent, I say YES – I would do it, not because I thought my child was a freeloader, but because the extra effort on my part would help ensure my child’s success – and make it less likely that he would come back for more help later in life.
Thank him for the gift, and do well at work — that will be all the reward he is looking for.
the thing is your respectful and thankful therefore you deserve it. Freeloaders are the ones that take advantage of their parents then don’t treat them as well. Don’t feel bad just remember what they did in time of need and let them know how much it means and that’ll pay them back
You know what? Your dad wouldn’t have offerred if he didn’t want to. Let him help you, and show him how much you appreciate it by being responsible. I wouldn’t feel bad. He’s your parent! I know my parents would give the world if they could to fix my problems and I’m 31!!!
And if my child were your age and I could help him out like that, you bet I would!
You didn’t ask for the car it was a gift. Be thankful. Don’t feel bad. It was his choice to give it to you.
Most parents really don’t mind sacrificing for their children, even grown ones. We are glad to put our children first. Someday when you are a parent you will understand.
Someday you may also be able to repay him. For now show him you appreciate it by spending time with him. While most parents enjoy doing things for their children, they love spending time with them too.
I agree with the other posts. Your dad gave you a car because he wanted to help you, and he was in a position to do so. That’s what parents do for their children. Parents help their children when, and if, they can. The operative word is “help”. From what you’ve posted, you don’t sound like a freeloader. Freeloaders don’t want help; they want “handouts”. They have a sense of “entitlement”. You don’t sound that way. Accept his gift without guilt. I’m certain he would not want you to feel guilty.
Good luck to you!
It’s more then just a car….it’s saying I have faith in your ability to succeeded, which is bigger then a car. Don’t let him down. Keep up your end of the deal, and what would really be great is if you could possibly, eventually, take over the pmts, or help pay it off quicker. Congrats!!!
I am a parent of a 6 year old and I can tell you that when she turns 40 and needs my help I will be there! Just be very appreciative of it and when you can make sure to do something special for him. Being a parent does not end when you leave the house, your needs just become bigger! Take care and don’t feel bad, if he could not help you he would not have offered!
The fact that you are concerned about this shows you are not a free loader.
I would suggest that once you start working you offer to pay a portion of the car note that you can afford. that will only re-inforce with your parents how responsible you are.
your children are yours forever i am 26 and my parents just bought me a car. I had one that was breaking down and i need it for work. i break even on my bills and can’t afford a car note.
What you do it make sure you take good care of your parents when the are old and sick and help your children one day as much as you can. i know that them doing this for me was a scarifice we are not rich by any means but they love me and want to help as much as they can. I feel/felt bad also but really i can’t do any better right now
The world has changed since your folks were 24. Housing is a FAR higher percentage of income, and good jobs require a lot more schooling. I really don’t think most people your age ARE doing it all on their own.
Accept the gift, repeat your thankfulness often to him, and drive safely! That will be all the “payback” he needs!
take it with grace and be thankful you have great parents like that…some children are not that fortunate…when you can afford it pay him back..Yes I would and still help my children ..they are grown and have jobs but you know they still have problems and at times need a little help…I am just thankfull we can help them both…what a great dad you have…give him a hugh hug and be thankfull but just tell him you will repay as soon as you can…Goodluck and may God bless you and your parents…
You are not a burden to your parents I promise you that much!
You are in school headed towards a career. Careers these days take a good education which takes, time and money not to mention having a place to live and a way to get back and forth.
Your father is a very amazing man to give you his second car to use – by making you pay the insurance he is not “handing you the car” he is making you responsible for it as well – and your worry and guilt over this shows just how mature and responsible you are (good job)
Someday you will have a chance to repay your father for his kindness, and your mother as well and when you do you will understand why they helped you, and you will have the same proudness they do.
Now had you been 24, living in there basement, no job, playing video games drinking beer 24/7 yes I would point, laugh and call you a burden…but alas you are one of the good guys in the world and someday a very lucky someone is gonna be marrying you and I am happy for them already!
Hope you understand what I mean
Good luck with everything
if you feel like such a burden pay your father the money back when you get to work.
trust me your father will appreciate it even if he doesn’t accept the money back.
Think of it as appreciation for being a good son for the past 24 years. You go to school and you pay your own bills. Your father is happy and proud. Take the car.